Last Wednesday, (Sept. 10). I attended a small-group/victory group meeting somewhere in Serendra with my sisters-in-Christ. I thought it was one of the many regular meetings/fellowship we have but it was not. Our leader broke the news to us that she is leaving us and another member will rise up to take her place. It was a shock for me actually. (at least for few minutes) before I absorb the reality that yes, God ordained and orchestrated the people we meet for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME.
To admit, I get teary-eyed several times that night but managed to put a brave face or the least the poker face I mastered even as a child. A lot of questions were raising up my head but I decided to be silent about it and just listen to my leader as she explain her side.
The meeting went on with questions being thrown on the table. Discussions happened. Clarifications made. But I resort to observe and talk only when asked. I think, I zoned-out for a while to somewhere with lots of thoughts that hit me that night.
Just like the other meetings we normally had for almost 3 years of me being a member of that group...we bid our good nights, take cares, see-you-soon/see-you-sometime lines and headed to our respective nests.
I went to bed, close my eyes, woke up the following day, go to work or better say do my routines but I still haven't had the courage...not even a short text or word for my leader after the Sept. 10 meeting. Nadah. Waley.
Maybe I am still in the "denial" stage that she is no longer my Vgroup Leader. She will surely be my Ate/Mentor/Friend and church mate but I don't know....maybe I am having this what we call "separation anxiety"??!!?
Subconsciously, maybe I am not taking all of this well.
Hhhmmm....I can try and say some of my thoughts in writing.
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Dear Ate Raschel,
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| With Raschel Vista |
I can still vividly recall the night I first met you. I always believed that you are God's answer to my prayers when I decided to look for a small group/victory group. It was Ptr. Junjin who ushered me to your table and asked if I can join your group because I was looking for one. For me, that was never an accident. We were meant to meet. Our paths were designed to cross. Remember, when you asked me on some background about myself? I said, I prayed for a group and a leader to guide me, help me grow more in love with Jesus and to be more mature in my Christian walk...A leader that I can easily connect to....and true enough....from that night on, I knew, my prayers has been heard.
Three years may seem to be long....or better say enough for us to be together if there are standards being followed within our ministry. But for me, I still want more. I still want to hear from you. I still want to listen and admire you and your family silently. I want to witness how you make a difference to our lives...to my life as an inspiration, as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a servant, a woman of faith.
But just like what you said....people come and go for a REASON, a SEASON and some for a LIFETIME.
If I haven't shown that I care, that I admire you, that I like you, that I highly appreciate you...that I am blessed by your very existence....allow me to say and confirm to you that I Do. Sincerely. (crossing my heart)
Whatever happens, I will surely keep my lines open for you.
See you around Ate.
See?! I do suck how to end this letter with a boom. Hope I hit the words right. :-)
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Hebrews 13:7New International Version (NIV)7 Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. |
Love you so!!!
With Power Hugs,
Jhan
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