Sunday, September 14, 2014

A letter to my dear Leader...

I am not good in expressing how I feel for someone. Lalu na if I am to say it face to face. That's the reason, I get to write what I want to say to someone, most especially when the lines are too serious, emote-mode or cheesy. (eeewwww....yeah, I have that side of me. Arte-artehan din)

Last Wednesday, (Sept. 10). I attended a small-group/victory group meeting somewhere in Serendra with my sisters-in-Christ. I thought it was one of the many regular meetings/fellowship we have but it was not. Our leader broke the news to us that she is leaving us and another member will rise up to take her place. It was a shock for me actually. (at least for few minutes) before I absorb the reality that yes, God ordained and orchestrated the people we meet for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME.

To admit, I get teary-eyed several times that night but managed to put a brave face or the least the poker face I mastered even as a child. A lot of questions were raising up my head but I decided to be silent about it and just listen to my leader as she explain her side.

The meeting went on with questions being thrown on the table. Discussions happened. Clarifications made. But I resort to observe and talk only when asked. I think, I zoned-out for a while to somewhere with lots of thoughts that hit me that night.

Just like the other meetings we normally had for almost 3 years of me being a member of that group...we bid our good nights, take cares, see-you-soon/see-you-sometime lines and headed to our respective nests.

I went to bed, close my eyes, woke up the following day, go to work or better say do my routines but I still haven't had the courage...not even a short text or word for my leader after the Sept. 10 meeting. Nadah. Waley.

Maybe I am still in the "denial" stage that she is no longer my Vgroup Leader. She will surely be my Ate/Mentor/Friend and church mate but I don't know....maybe I am having this what we call "separation anxiety"??!!?
Subconsciously, maybe I am not taking all of this well.

Hhhmmm....I can try and say some of my thoughts in writing.

______________________________

Dear Ate Raschel,
With Raschel Vista

I can still vividly recall the night I first met you. I always believed that you are God's answer to my prayers when I decided to look for a small group/victory group. It was Ptr. Junjin who ushered me to your table and asked if I can join your group because I was looking for one. For me, that was never an accident. We were meant to meet. Our paths were designed to cross. Remember, when you asked me on some background about myself? I said, I prayed for a group and a leader to guide me, help me grow more in love with Jesus and to be more mature in my Christian walk...A leader that I can easily connect to....and true enough....from that night on, I knew, my prayers has been heard.

Three years may seem to be long....or better say enough for us to be together if there are standards being followed within our ministry. But for me, I still want more. I still want to hear from you. I still want to listen and admire you and your family silently. I want to witness how you make a difference to our lives...to my life as an inspiration, as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a servant, a woman of faith.

But just like what you said....people come and go for a REASON, a SEASON and some for a LIFETIME.

If I haven't shown that I care, that I admire you, that I like you, that I highly appreciate you...that I am blessed by your very existence....allow me to say and confirm to you that I Do. Sincerely. (crossing my heart)

Whatever happens, I will surely keep my lines open for you.

See you around Ate.

See?! I do suck how to end this letter with a boom. Hope I hit the words right. :-)

Hebrews 13:7New International Version (NIV)

Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.

Love you so!!!

With Power Hugs,
Jhan

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Devotion #190: Why is God seems to be the last resort?

READING: Isaiah 50 - Israel's Sin and the Servant's Obedience

REMA:

Isaiah 50:2New International Version (NIV)

When I came, why was there no one?
    When I called, why was there no one to answer?
Was my arm too short to deliver you?
    Do I lack the strength to rescue you?
By a mere rebuke I dry up the sea,
    I turn rivers into a desert;
their fish rot for lack of water
    and die of thirst.

REFLECTION:

When we face different kinds of challenges, Why is God seems to be the last resort?
Why do we rely on our own strength? Our own understanding?
When all plans and options fail, that's the only time we SERIOUSLY seek God.
Why is HE not the first option?

We grow in a very religious country where we are taught to pray, attend mass and do good at all times. No questions about it. Filipinos are organically religious by birth. But  why do statistics shows that we, at some point are not living our country slogan "It's more fun in the Philippines". Many Filipinos are getting depressed and loosing hope.  According to an article:

Incidentally, the country also “has the highest incidence of depression in Southeast Asia, according to the Department of Health (DOH).” 2011 data from the World Health Organization (WHO) showed that “the Philippines has the highest incidence of depression in Southeast Asia with 93 suicides for every 100,000 Filipinos.”

full article here:

These are some thoughts for me is the answer Why God seems to be the last option?
  1. We are prideful by nature. - We want to do things our way. We want to boast and get full credit of something/anything that we do, especially if it turns out right.
    Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence.
    In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.
  2.  We think God's way is too complicated. 
    • Too good; too serious - makes us to appear to our friends/family or to anyone who knew us that we are being HOLY.
    • Boring; no excitement
    • Long process - we want things to happen in an instant.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.

      3. We are of the world.
    • People pleaser
    • Sinful
    • We love to be in the dark
those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us.


In all of our transgressions, trials, pains and problems, God should be the first to run to.
Family is good. Seeking friend's advise can be healthy. But God should be on top. First in mind. First in everything.

Hard? Can be. But all will surely be well for those who trusts God.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Proverbs 3:5-6 [Full Chapter]

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

A Blessed week to all.

Jhan

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Just saying...

Oh, It's been six months since I write something in this space.

Just want to say



Jhan

Saturday, February 8, 2014

QT Movie Date: Because February spells L.O.V.E

Lately, It's been a challenge for A and I to go out, just the two of us basically because, we do not have someone to look after our toddler.

So whenever we got that rare chance, we make sure, we will spent our day out to the max. hahaha
Last Feb. 1, we attended our church's event entitled NEXT in the morning until 1PM.
It was so fun and inspiring especially to upcoming leaders like me. (Yey!)

Got this lovely tokens.
Felt so much privilege to be given a copy of Pastor Steve Murell since this book is only available in USA.
He is such a generous man. Thanks a lot Ptr. Steve!!!

Lovely tokens from Victory Fort. Photo grabbed from a dear friend, Minoll

After the event, we immediately went to the nearest mall since we know for a fact that going somewhere else will just stuck us in traffic and will be a waste of time. :-)



Had a quick lunch at NYFD and straight to the cinema.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Devotion 2014_028 : Why compromise NOT?

READING: Mark 15: 6-15; Pilate Hands Jesus Over to be Crucified

MY REMA:
Mark 15:15 (NIV) - Wanting to satisfy the crowd, Pilate released Barabas to them. He had Jesus flogged, and handed him over to be crucified.

MY REFLECTION:

Allow me to highlight the phrase:  Wanting to satisfy the crowd

How many time have I entered into compromise? Honestly, I couldn't count nor remember anymore. Many times or oftentimes, it was something I did that leads me to a more difficult situation or sometimes, I find it hard to get out from.

I once heard from a Pastor, Dr. Greg Mitchell during Fearless Parenting Seminar we've attended, and he said "Today's solution is tomorrow's problem."

Why?

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails